The Top Ten Things Every College Girl Needs
There are certain items that can make your college experience much more enjoyable and productive. I have compiled a list of the things that have helped me over the past three years.
10. Fake glasses.
Or if your vision is actually impaired then real glasses would also be acceptable. Glasses make you look professional for interviews and meetings. More importantly, you do not want everyone at the library to think you are a ditzy sorority girl. Sporting a pair of glasses will fool even the library hermits.
9. A formal dress.
You will need this. I know you might think you won’t but I promise you will. There will come a time when you will need to attend a formal gathering and need appropriate attire, whether it be a fraternity formal or a puppy wedding.
8. Plans for Spring Break.
By February, we are all burnt out on classes. We need something to motivate us to keep pushing through our insanely boring classes. What could be a better motivator than a week in Florida with our best friends? This will get you happy again! Until you start thinking about how you’re going to look in that swimsuit….
7. A real backpack.
Enough with these girls carrying their books in cute little totebags! They are so bad for your spinal alignment! Class is not a fashion show and who wants to be a lopsided old grandmother!?
You are lying to the world if you say you don’t like chocolate. It’s physiologically impossible. Chocolate makes everyone feel better. Trust me, it’s the only thing that keeps me tolerable to the people around me.
When you live in a dorm or sorority house with over 80 other women it is a miracle if you do not contract tuberculosis, swine flu, and malaria. Illnesses spread like wildfire with the close proximity of everyone living together. Also, some females are not very hygienic which doesn’t help either. Wash your hands you nasty humans!
4. A planner.
You need to have a planner in order to keep track of everything. My planner saves me daily. I have always been horrible at remembering things. Alzheimer’s runs in my family so it’s inevitable that I will have it too. I just hope they make a sequel to the Notebook about my life and a really gorgeous actress plays me.
3. A sturdy umbrella.
This may apply only to those of us who attend school in Stillwater. The wind here blows (literally and figuratively). The rain/snow/hail/sandstorms always come straight at your face because the wind is intense. This also means that the likelihood of your umbrella either flying out of your hand or flipping inside out and stabbing a random passerby in the eye is highly likely. Please help yourself as well as your fellow classmates and purchase a sturdy umbrella.
2. Dry Shampoo.
Dry shampoo is my secret weapon. Don’t have time to shower but still want great hair? Dry shampoo. Don’t want people to think you’re an unshowered nasty slob even though you are? Dry shampoo. I don’t know who invented it but I want to kiss them. It’s like fairy dust in a can.
Coffee will be the sole reason you make it through college. You will forget/procrastinate to study for a test, write a paper, or make a powerpoint. Coffee will save your butt every time. Coffee beans should be regarded as magic, in my opinion. They were sent from heaven to help college students stay alive. Praise the Lord!
I hope you made it until the end and liked my list. I’m sure I left many super important things out but I’m tired and I’m too lazy to get coffee tonight.